The Dark Side of Empathy

Empathy Can Be A Weapon Too

It was the beginning of lockdown in March 2020 when I had recently moved to my hometown for a week-long semester break. I found out that a stray dog outside my house had given birth to a litter of puppies. For the first 2 months of the terrible time that was the first lockdown, it was this small litter of 6 puppies that became the center of my life.

One day, one of these puppies was attacked by another dog, a different one from this group. Probably it was a predator out for a hunt, or it was just another dog trying to expand its territory, as dogs usually do. The little puppies, barely old enough to eat solid food, stood no chance of winning this fight, which is when I stepped in and hushed the attacker away. I even threw a stone in its direction but made sure not to hit it.

Why did I do what I did?

I could empathize with the young pups and the problem they found themselves in. It’s not easy to go against someone much stronger than you. And acting on that empathy, I responded aggressively. If it was someone else throwing a stone toward the aggressor dog, I probably would not have stopped them.

“He deserves it” I would think to myself.

I am not alone in responding aggressively due to my empathic disposition. Studies have repeatedly observed that people who score high in affective empathy are also more likely to be aggressive. In this article (from where I borrow the title of today’s issue), The Dark Side of Empathy - Paul Bloom argues that caring for one person may make us irrationally aggressive towards another.

The Weapon Called Empathy

The modern understanding of empathy frames it as a quality that is desirable, virtuous and the morally ‘right’ one to have. If I were to ask anyone if they are empathic or not, the socially acceptable answer would have to be positive.

But that is not all that empathy is. Because after all, what is empathy?

The most common definition is “the ability to perceive the world from the perspective of someone else.” We know it has two types, cognitive and affective. Cognitive empathy is when we can understand what the other person is thinking and affective is when we know how they feel.

Do you think people like Hitler or Goebbels had any empathy?

Surely not? Right? Well, what if they did?

Germany in the 1920s was going through economic turmoil owing to the great depression. It was still reeling from the harsh sanctions from the Treaty of Versailles. There was anger towards Jews and Marxists because some believed that Germany had been betrayed by such ‘backstabbers’. People were angry and hungry. Hitler understood that. He could feel their pain. In Hitler’s own mind, his country and his people had been wronged and he wanted to make things right.

Hitler is an extreme example of someone misusing empathy to meet their own goals. He couldn’t have moved a whole country into following him blindly if he did not have some understanding of how people felt and thought. The issue for the world was that he decided to use this ability to reach his own bigoted goals.

But Hitler is not alone in doing so. Our politicians use empathy to call on our most innate fears every day. Whether it is to polarize communities or start a war, empathy has been used as a precursory weapon for all kinds of atrocities.

When the US had to invade Iraq, you could see more and more coverage given to victims of Saddam Hussein’s oppressive regime. Personal horror stories, audio-visual cues and so much more were used to evoke empathic emotions within the American people against Hussein’s regime.

India is not much different. In 1984, when Indira Gandhi had been assassinated, disturbing imagery was used within cadres of the Congress to ensure there was little to no scope for mercy in the anti-Sikh riots that followed. There are multiple recent examples as well but I am not certain if Big Brother would like them mentioned here :P

Not Great, Not Terrible

Should we move on from empathy? Is it time to let it go? I don’t think so. I think it would be better for everyone involved if we were aware of the biases that empathy leaves us with than to try and remove empathy altogether.

Empathy is super useful in connecting with other people. It is vital for social or interpersonal pleasure but it also has its own dark sides and we should be as mindful of them as possible.

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Question of The Week

And that is it! Wrote something slightly controversial this time around. What do you think about empathy? Have you seen someone misusing empathy around you or misused it yourself? You can let me know by replying to this email or in the comments.

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Giveaway Results!

So I had been running a giveaway for the past month or so. Three of my 5-star readers will get a copy of my book, “Shhh! Dont Talk About Mental Health” and another book of their own choice. Here are the winners:-

1. Darpana Vonnala

2. Yashika Mishra

3. Bhavika Jain

Please get in touch with your book choice and addresses so I can have your gifts on their way ASAP.

I will be back with another giveaway soon! Stay tuned :)